My Current Story...

Where to begin “my story”…  Well that is an interesting one.

On Sept. 26, 2013 I apparently went to work first and was on my way to the shipyard on my motorcycle.  Let me first put out this disclaimer:  I DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM THAT DAY, REALLY UNTIL ABOUT THE SUPERBOWL OF 2013.  The only reason I remember that is because it was the first “major event” for me, but I digress.  From that point in time for a while I was completely unconscious.  I didn’t know there were different levels of consciousness at that point, but apparently you can have your eyes open and be talking to someone and still be unconscious.  

  

It seems like many of you would ask a lot of questions at this point, but I never did.  All I knew is that I was in a hospital and had a wheelchair.  I never asked really where or why I was there, I just accepted the fact that I was there.  It wouldn’t have made sense to me why I was there anyways, but I later found out that I was indeed hit by a car.  Turns out my right knee was broken along with 8 ribs, and a various amount of other damage that was and could be done to the human body.  Basically, if it was a bad thing that could happen, it did.  I found out later that I was in the ICU for 6 weeks at home (here in Norfolk, VA) before I was transferred to Atlanta.  Luckily thanks to my beautiful wife Danielle, she fought for me to go to The Shepard Center in Atlanta.

It is interesting because you never know where they get this data from, but this is supposed to be one of the best brain rehabilitation clinics in the world.  So the first thing I remember was waking up in the morning, sliding to the edge of my bed, and sliding my butt on to my wheelchair.  From there I wheeled myself out the door and down the hall to a big dry erase marker board where I could see what classes I had that day, and what I was scheduled to do.  Right down the hall from that was the cafeteria.  This is where I went to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Typically during the day I would go to my classes and meet my therapists, and then I’d go to lunch and eventually take a nap.  Sometimes this “nap” would last all evening so really I was going to sleep for the night.  Then I would repeat the next day.  During the initial evaluation of me they put a fixator in my right leg so I wouldn’t bend it, and combined with a few screws they let it heal naturally.  I had that fixator in for about 6 weeks.  

As far as I know they did nothing to repair the broken ribs, they just let those heal naturally.  That said, I have never heard of casting or fixing a broken rib.  Most people typically just let them heal naturally.  I believe as a result of all that my left shoulder was broken or popped out of socket and never was "fixed" over time.  They had too many things to worry about that were more important, and as a result there is a bump on my left shoulder that was never there before.  During all this I had a pulmonary embolism.  Apparently during all that time frame, one of my lungs had a major blood clot.  In addition to the millions of pain killers I had at my disposal, they also put me on Coumadin.  It was basically a blood thinner used to help prevent a clot from ever happening again.

All the things you assume are “normal” activities, I basically had to relearn to do.  I had to relearn how to walk, tie my shoes, and brush my teeth.  It was around this point that I sort of “came to” and realized who I was and where I was.  I never could understand why my right leg didn’t bend a certain way or a certain amount, but then again I was unconscious for most of it.  I don’t remember much of anything, but I do think that was a good thing.  I am curious as to how I reacted or how the woman hit me with her car.  That said, I’m pretty glad I don’t remember any of it.  It was kind of like going to sleep, and waking up in a different state, different place, and surrounded by different people.  I didn’t really believe I had a traumatic brain injury at first, because as serious as it is you can’t see a brain injury.  I just thought it was weird that everyone around me admittedly had one and knew it, but “I didn’t have one.”

I have no clue honestly what this sort of thing would’ve cost me financially.  My wife was prepared to sell the house and I could have lived with my parents for the rest of my life.  I didn’t know what had happened to me, actually happened.  I always assumed worst case scenario while riding a motorcycle was I broke a leg or a few bones.  I was in the hospital for about 6 months, and then graduated to Pathways.  Pathways was an extension of the hospital where people with brain injuries can go to get reacquainted with how to live life.  The place I stayed in at Pathways is near the hospital in Atlanta.  My room was on the second floor and there was an elevator to take you up to and down.  I started walking again on my own towards the end of my stay at the hospital, and it was at Pathways that I was approved to walk on my own.  At that point, I no longer needed a walker or the wheelchair.  

It was there that the therapies continued, and when I finally got home I continued speech therapy, occupational therapy, and of course physical therapy.  Long story short on Sept. 11^th, 2014 I finally had surgery on my right knee.  It was an all-day surgery and the doctor luckily is an amazing one who repaired my ACL, MCL, and PCL along with cartilage and skin grafts.  There was basically no ligaments or cartilage in my right knee after the accident.  Initially the doctors weren’t sure if I’d ever even walk again, so they just sewed the skin up and were like “see us when you are better and we’ll deal with it”.

Because of the brain injury, I initially had to relearn how to do very simple and basic things like brushing my teeth or putting my shoes on.  Luckily all of that was a brief period of time and doesn’t still apply.  I am starting physical therapy again since I am now post-surgery, and we found a really good speech therapist around here who is also really good.  I don’t have too many issues since or because of the incident except my short term memory is pretty bad. Hopefully a few more weeks with this speech therapist and I’ll be done with that and all my other therapies.  I will have physical therapy for at least a year as they work on my right leg post-surgery, but considering I’ve already “graduated” from occupational therapy and speech therapy (different person/location) I am doing well.  

After hearing the stories about me from that time, I am more convinced than ever that God is the only reason I am alive and doing so well.  Nothing against modern medicine or scientific advancements as I wouldn’t be here and alive without them.  The amazing thing about it is how I’ve been able to see God work through it all and as a result, I am now closer to God than I ever have been.  As a result of all these things, I am doing well and in many ways I am better than I ever have been.  There have been people in my church praying for me as well a ton of people in my parent’s church. (My dad is an administrative pastor at a church in Chapin, SC outside of Columbia).

Thank you all for your time and patience.  I will try to get back to this blog as much as I can.

Happy Easter!!

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter. This holiday has become one of the most bittersweet days of the year. While it is certainly the most important, it saddens me in some ways that we don't take the time more often to truly dwell on the significance of this day. May Christ bring peace and joy to all of you for another year.

Not only is he very much risen, but he's very much alive, and very much active in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a wonderful thing to celebrate!

An Additional Meme

I was reading an excellent political blog on grace (link included) and decided that I needed to add something to my list of meme's. It's important enough that I wanted to share it with you all as well, as it may be the most difficult of characteristics to follow.

14. Forgive regularly and freely, allowing the worst of grievances to be accompanied with grace and dignity.

While I may not agree with EVERYTHING the author said, I do agree with most of it. Forgiveness in my opinion can be one of the biggest character builders we can learn. When we forgive, we emulate Christ's character in it's ultimate form. That is the sole purpose of his existence, and if we are to be Christ like, than that should be our purpose as well. It would be easy to bombard you with bible verses on the subject, but I'll leave you with this one.

"Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

That verse sums up perfectly what we should strive for. I reflect on the times in my life when I needed grace the most and received it. I think of possibly the one thing I regret most in life over the rest, and when I think of the man who forgave me it makes me want to weep. His forgiveness makes it possible for me to hold my head up high on a daily basis. While I may never see this man again, he will forever and always be one of the most Godly and respected people I have ever met. His influence on a 15 year old boy will never be forgotten, and God will reward him eternally for his character.

Hopefully you have experienced on a personal level grace of this magnitude. While human forgiveness is sometimes rare, God's grace abounds and is limitless. He has forgiven you for the sins you've committed, and the ones you will commit tomorrow.

This is my additional meme, and I wanted to share.

"Life Meme's" or "The Man I Want To Be"

I wish I could say I was clever enough to come up with these on my own, but I'm not this articulate. Plus it wouldn't exactly go with my meme's. As I was reading last night I came across a list of traits that the author thought a "man" should display. This closely mirrors my heart and conscience's desire and I wanted to share them. I have printed them out under the title "The Man I Want to Be" and posted them above my computer monitor at work as a reminder of who I am striving to become. I would encourage anyone to use these, or create their own and share.

1. Prays, recognizing that his duty is to God first and above all things.
2. Is articulate, communicating his thoughts and opinions intelligently and respectfully.
3. Respects women, directly through honorable discourse and chaste living, and indirectly by his thoughts.
4. Defends the innocent, especially children and unborn life.
5. Is not addicted, whether to alcohol, pornography, or entertainment, and therefore is truly free.
6. Is healthy, actively maintaining physical fitness and a proper diet.
7. Holds convictions supported by reason and truth.
8. Is courageous, unafraid to defend truth in all circumstances.
9. Educates himself, not for the sake of accumulating factual knowledge, but for advancement in wisdom.
10. Works hard, acknowledging that time is a gift to be used wisely.
11. Sacrifices his needs for the sake of others.
12. Is charitable, recognizing that nothing is truly his own.
13. Is humble, possessing an honesty that doesn't tolerate deception, and a gratitude without envy.

God's Perfect Timing

Two posts in one day! Something must be going on. Sadly this is not a celebration.

This kind of relates to the book The Shack that I reviewed earlier today. One of the precepts that is hammered on in the book is Yahweh's perfect timing.

I found out today that one of my Aunt's is going in for exploratory surgery tomorrow. She has cancer pretty bad in her stomach somewhere. If they can remove the cancerous portion they will. If not they will sew her back up and wish her the best of luck. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. In addition her brother (my uncle) is about to go through an open heart surgery within the next 2 weeks. He's had heart problems in the past, even though he is at a very young age.

The entire precept of the book is how God can allow bad things to happen. I consider myself fortunate in life not to have had very many "terrible" things happen to me. Particularly according to the world's standards. Suddenly I find my family in the midst of difficult times. It is amazing that I had read this book prior to all these things happening. It just speaks to God's perfect timing. While nothing is for certain yet, I am preparing for the worst. This could be one of those events that drives my relationship even closer to God. Who knows what the future may hold; even beyond the next few months. Either way, I will be equipped with the knowledge and love of Christ to pull me through any event. Taking solace only in the fact that it is in my faith in God that he has a plan much greater than I. Essentially when bad times come, I think this is all we have.

On another note, as I was studying my Bible and doing my quiet time this morning I was reading about being a good steward of what God has given us, and not asking for tasks greater than what we deem "trivial". The parable of the slaves who had been given the talents was what I was reading. To want to be used by God is natural. If you have a personality like mine, then it is only natural to want to accomplish the greatest tasks available. Partly this is my pride, but also earnestly because I want to do God's will. We must prove that we are capable of handling the tasks (or financial resources) that God entrusts to us first. When we do, then he will move us on to bigger and better things.

This comes in to play because yesterday I made a rather expensive purchase. One that I had the money for to be sure, but one that I probably didn't need to spend the money on. I knew this even as I was handing the cashier my card. I confess I am not a good steward with the things God has given me. The Holy Spirit really convicted me this morning of that.

The point of that story is not to blurt my sins in a public bulletin announcement, but rather to illustrate another example of God's timing. God speaks if we are listening and want to hear. As always, his timing is perfect. It never fails to amaze me when what I am reading or studying has immediate implications in my own life. Though this particular case may not have been in the best way, it's still awesome to see examples of Christ in people's lives. And after all, this is why I created this blog.

With much heartache I end this post. Please pray for my family.

Book Reviews and their Practicality

I've decided I'm going to begin adding book/bible study reviews occasionally. I decided this as I was reading The Shack by William P. Young, and started thinking about it's practicality. First of all, I think every believer should read this book. While it may not be the most "Christian" book by some standards (it obviously can't be if it is a NY Times #1 best seller), it is based on one man's personal struggle with a great tragedy in life, and his following encounter with God.

The book has been an incredibly moving read. I've only ever felt someone's pain in a book once before (and that book will be reviewed at a later date) and scout's honor, had I not been reading on a plane, I would probably have cried. The reason being is two fold. 1.) You truly live this guy's pain through his human perspective, and 2.) You live this guy's pain through God's perspective. While this book certainly doesn't satisfy the age old adage of "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?", it certainly gives the most satisfying answer.

This book will cause you to see God's love in a way that you've probably never thought before. For the first time in my life I kind of actually felt sorry for God (pity was not the emotion, purely just not being envious of his ultimate task). There comes a point in the book when Mack (the main character) is forced to judge his family, as God will one day have to. He was told that he had to choose 2 of the 5 children to go to heaven, and the other 3 to hell. All the while prior to this, you have seen nothing but the Trinity's love for each other. Then out of nowhere comes God's judgment. The point was that we judge God's actions (or lack thereof as we deem it) as good or evil, but who are we to judge? We are completely subjective and bias in our judgments. God is not. As a father could not condemn his own children to hell, God feels infinitely (and more so than we'll ever know) pain in condemning his children to an eternity of pain and torture. So he sent his own Son, who did nothing wrong and was completely blameless and pure, to die so that the rest of the world would not have to. I don't have children, but I imagined myself in Mack's shoes judging my friends and family.

While Jesus's return to earth will surely be a great celebration, I think we as believers often distance ourselves from non-believers. We think we'll be somehow separated from the judgment, and who knows, maybe we will. But we should not forget that their will be a great deal of pain and suffering on that day. People we've known and loved our whole lives will be condemned to an ETERNITY of suffering and torture. That thought scares me frankly, and causes my heart to break. At that point, we will know God's love to it's fullest extent, and while we have the capacity to hate and judge here on earth, I doubt we will when we get to that point. I think our hearts will break with God's as he condemns each and every non-believer. I'm no theologian, so please feel free to correct me if you feel otherwise. I have a feeling this could be a topic of great debate, and would love to read your inputs at the bottom of the page.

Anyways, as we experience pain and hurt in life, the book leads us to believe (and I don't know if I agree but it's certainly something to consider) that God experiences the same sort of heart ache that we do. He loves us so much that when we break,his heart aches for us. While God may not be shedding physical tears for us in heaven, I do believe that God can relate. After all, his son Jesus Christ was sent to die for us. While we can never truly understand the concept of the Trinity yet, God was Jesus, and Jesus was God. Therefore all the pain Jesus experienced at the cross, so God experienced also. So in effect, God does know pain.

The book is heavy no doubt. It will cause you to think and view things in ways you probably never have. I can't really say much more than that about it. It's a fantastic book, and you will cry, laugh, and be completely overcome with emotion (at least I was). This book has gotten me thinking about more spiritual principals and how they apply in my life in the last few days, than I have all year.

There is much more I want to share, and it all stems from this book. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend doing so. This book is for non-believers just as much as it is for believers. It breaks down pain in a way that only someone who has experienced that much pain can. I urge to take some time and pick it up. It's a very quick read, and once you start I promise you won't want to put it down.

Hooray for Persecution!

So I admit it's been a while since I've posted. Partially due to being on travel a lot lately, and partially due to the fact that well...I just did not have anything to share. But now I do!

For the first time in my life yesterday, I was berated for being a Christian. Completely out of the blue nonetheless. I mean sure, I've had discussions with others about my faith. And sure, people probably have thought that I'm an idiot afterward. If you know me, it's kind of hard not to think that anyways, am I right? Right? High five? Anyone? This wasn't one of those times though. Allow me to explain:

A former acquaintance of mine "friended" me on Facebook. For those of you familiar with Facebook there is a informational section at the top where you can disclose whatever information you want. One of those categories is religion. Instead of putting the typical "Christian/Protestant" or whatever it is that most people put, I want people to know that I have a "100% very real and practical relationship with Jesus Christ". So that is what it reads on my Facebook profile. The funny thing is you have to actually search for that to see it because of the websites layout (bear this in mind). This former acquaintance and I haven't spoken to each other in probably 7 years. Literally not so much as a word, phone call, text, email, or even a wall post. I know this guy ironically enough through my old church. Here is where it would be fun to drop names and start blasting him. That is what the internet is for right? But come on, this isn't perezhilton.com. We don't do that here.

Without reposting things that were on my Facebook wall and to make a long story short, he proceeded to "lambast" me (though I haven't quite figured out how you can do that via Facebook), ridicule my faith in Jesus (which is fine because he doesn't have to answer to me, he has to answer to God), and call me names like "blythe" and "disingenuous" and "repulsive". Luckily for this simpleton, I know how to access dictionary.com! But in his defense, I did tell him I was going to pray for him. Zing! I didn't force my beliefs on him. He had to actively look for it.

I think it's important to note that I have absolutely no ill will towards this guy whatsoever. The whole thing is actually quite sad, and my heart truly does ache for him. See I believe that he's still a believer, no matter how much he wants to turn his back on the Lord, and as a wise man told me last night (and I know to be true from experience) "It's tough living under the constant conviction of the Holy Spirit". For whatever reasons, there is a lot of pain, anger, and bitterness in his life, but that's not what I want to talk about.

The important thing is, I realized that this is the closest I've come to "persecution" in my brief lifetime. WOOOHOOO!!!! I put persecution in quotes because come on, really? Facebook persecution??

See, unlike most sane people, I want to be persecuted for my faith. It means your doing something right. What a privilege it is to suffer for your faith. Most of us here in America will never truly know what persecution is, but make no mistake the Bible says that we will be persecuted.

In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
2 Tim 3:12

How sweet is that? Don't get me wrong folks, I don't really want to deal with the whole torture aspect. That certainly wouldn't be fun. But how temporary is our suffering compared to the eternal reward we would receive upon acceptance to heaven?? And how great an opportunity to show and prove to the world that you are legit, and to really just spit in the devil's face!!!!

But before all these things, they will lay their hands on you and persecute you. They will hand you over to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors because of My name. It will lead to an opportunity for you to witness. Therefore make up your minds not to prepare your defnese ahead of time, for I will give you such words and a wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will even be betrayed by parents, brothers, relatives, adn friends. They will kill some of you. You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but not a hair of your head will be lost. By your endurance gain your lives. (ed. note - The last sentence refers to spiritual lives, not our physical ones.)
Luke 21:12-19

Awesome!! God not only says you stand a good chance of being persecuted, but then he tells you not to worry about what you're going to say, because he is going to give you the words to say! This reminds me of all the trials and tribulations Christ had to experience before the ultimate persecution. He always knew exactly what to say to further Gods' kingdom. That (arguably) wasn't his own doing, that was God!! I just can't imagine any greater privilege than getting to heaven, and the reason you are there, is because you died for your cause. It's like entering heaven with a blaze of glory. If I never heard 7 words again for the rest of my life, both here on earth and eternally, I want them to be "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

Now I certainly don't wish pain and suffering on anyone. But as believers if you are experiencing this in any shape or form, don't get down on yourself. Rejoice and praise God!

Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory. If you are ridiculed for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.
1 Peter 4:13

What an honor to be considered among those who have been persecuted. Jesus Christ, David, Jeremiah, Daniel, Joseph, Paul, and the Disciples just to name a few. I imagine the welcome reception in heaven far exceeds any pain or suffering we may endure here on this temporary plain, and when I get there I'm going to turn around and give Tim Tebow a high five.